Saturday, February 23, 2008

Thanks to Sarah Fry... for those of you who haven't read her blog and need this laugh! (Kathryn's variation has been explaining LOUDLY how we don't look at people's 'privates' since it's not nice)

Three-year-old tells all from his mother's restroom stall.
By Shannon Popkin

My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we're in the library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window. People often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just-turned-3-year-old. And you never have to ask him to turn up the volume. It's always fully cranked.

There've been several embarrassing times that I've wished the meaning of his words would have been masked by a not-so-audible voice, but never have I wished this more than last week at Costco. Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade with me into the restroom. If you'd been one of the ladies in the restroom that evening, this is what you would have heard coming from the second to the last stall:

'Mommy, are you gonna go potty?
Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on the potty, Mommy?
Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet paper now?
Mommy, what are you doing?
Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?'

At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been in the bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full ... 4? 5? Maybe we could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out of this stall and reveal my identity.

Cade continued: 'Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren't you?
Oh, dats a good girl, Mommy!
Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the potty?
Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy!
Oh ... Mommy! I'm trying to see In dere.
Oh! I see dem.
Dat is a very good girl, Mommy. You are gonna get some candy!'

I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of me.Where is a screaming newborn when you need her? Good grief. This was really getting embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time before exiting.

Trying to divert him, I said, 'Why don't you look in Mommy's purse and see if you can find some candy. We'll both have some!''

No, I'm trying to see doze more stinkies.
Oh! Mommy!'He started to gag at this point.

'Uh - oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up.
Mommy, doze stinkies are making me frow up!! Dat is so gross!!

'As the gags became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall. I quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject. I began to reason with myself: OK. There are four other toilets. If I count four flushes, I can be reasonably assured that those who overheard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone.

'Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done going stinkies!
Get up! Get up!' He grunted as he tried to pull me off.

Now I could hear full-blown laughter. I bent down to count the feet outside my door.

'Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy?
You wooking under da door? What were you wooking at?
Mommy? You wooking at the wady's feet?'

More laughter. I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the situation.

'Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now.
We have to go out now, Mommy.'

He started pounding on the door.
'Mommy, don't you want to wash your hands?
I want to go out!!'

I saw that my 'wait 'em out' plan was unraveling. I sheepishly opened the door, and found standing outside my stall, twenty to thirty ladies crowded around the stall, all smiling and starting to applaud.

My first thought was complete embarrassment, then I thought, 'Where's the fine print on the 'motherhood contract' where I signed away every bit of my dignity and privacy?'

But as my little boy gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed bubbly soap between his chubby little hands, I thought, I'd sign it all away again, just to be known as Mommy to this little fellow.

(Shannon Popkin is a freelance writer and mother of three. She lives with her family in Grand Rapids , Michigan , where she no longer uses public restrooms.)

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Happy Valentine's to All ~ Just a 'Little' Late... and Feliz Cumpleaños to ME

Been struggling with the whole blogger thing recently. You know it: the thought, "Man, I haven't posted in eons and ages!" and then "So....what can I post anyhow~ that the diaper was orange today?!"

So I thought I'd share my thoughts on the 'Valentine Season.' Nathan and I got a babysitter, and went out to P.F. Chang's on the Big Day. Nathan's family lived in Beijing for a year when he was a teenager, and this is the only authentic-tasting place he likes. No Hong Kong King Buffet around here! Anyways, if you go for Chinese, they had the most amazing calamari appetizer. If you don't know what calamari is, don't ask~ just eat. Ooooh, it was fabulous! We hadn't had squid ;o) since our honeymoon.

When I was a kid, I thought it was very cool that my name meant Love Archer (think Cupid) and I was born one week after Valentine's (yep, that's tomorrow!) Pardon me while I break into singing for myself! Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalal....... enough! Nathan also asked me to marry him on February 19th, 2000. That's also when I got my first kiss~ from him, of course! And this year on Valentine's, Marianne called to say that another niece/nephew is on its way! Exciting, exciting! So, I'll be 27 tomorrow. Having a birthday so close to Valentine's has its benefits. Allow me to share:

1. Ghirardelli Dark Chocolate Valentine's candy is still on sale
2. As are a few last wilting roses (I'm really cheap~ even when I'm on the getting end)
3. Help me out here, I told you I'm having writer's block at the moment~ oh, well.

Time to go put in that zipper in Kathryn's Easter dress. I'll post pictures when it's done.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

A Long and Eventful Week

~ On Friday the 1st, we hosted a 'Romantic Rook' party at our house for some friends from church. Andy and Julie Schultz, Brian and Paula Miller, Leonard and Krista Collins, and Ben and Beth Fleming participated. After some Papa John's (it doesn't get better than that!), we settled down to business. Amazingly, Nathan and I won in the end (at 1:00 a.m.- ugh!) Leonard and Krista were in 2nd place, and probably would have won if they hadn't had such ghastly deals.
We had lots of yummy junk food and tons of fun!

~Nathan, Kathryn and Alex have all taken their turn at being sick. I'm sick of them being sick. Toddlers and infants are NOT good patients! Anyways, Alex was the last one to succumb, and hopefully he'll be well soon. Nathan's priority has been keeping ME well, as I am the "Primary Caregiver."

~Alex cut his first tooth on Sunday, the 3rd. He's also decided to sit up and play now. Sorry for the bad lighting on the pic, but you can at least see how happy he is to be playing like this now.

~Met baby Alivia- so much hair! And soooo sweet!

~A few more fine lines began this week on Wednesday. Maybe even a few gray hairs. We had the lady across the street over for lunch. She brought her 4 year old son. He's a little-bitty guy, hardly any bigger than Kathryn. They went outside in the fenced backyard to play. We checked on them frequently (every 3-5 minutes). About 3 minutes after my last check, I gave a glance outside: nobody anywhere. I went out back and looked around. The gates were still closed. Then I saw blond pigtails bobbing across the street. All we can figure is he managed to open and close the gate (his mom said later he could do that), they crossed the street (be still, my pounding heart) and she WAS JUMPING ON THEIR POOL TARP! Dear Lord! We ran across the road, Alex in tow, and rescued my fearless explorer. She was pretty wet, as it was beginning to collapse on one side. She thought it was a trampoline. The owner had drained off a ton of rainwater that morning, or she probably would have drowned before we got there. Pray for mommy as I've been traumatized and for Kathryn, that some commonsense and fear would stick in her little brain!

Monday, February 04, 2008

The Power of Positive, no~ Scriptural Thinking

I have a Scripture tape in my car, admittedly way too 80's. Nevertheless, it's been on off and on for sometime. So now I have a song stuck in my head. I have to say: Let this roll around in your head for a while, and you'll be feeling praiseful (is that a word?) and thankful.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ / in His great mercy He has given us new birth / into a living hope in the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead / and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade / kept in heaven for you

Music is a powerful tool. I'm being inspired to use it more for renewing my mind.