Am I "Homophobic" Parent?
This is an honest look at some of the reasons Christians may be nervous about ministering to homosexuals.
Fear of AIDS. That would be number one. Why? This may sound utterly pathetic, but I'm afraid of disease. Especially incurable ones. And I happen to know that there is a higher rate of the incurable HIV/AIDS in the homosexual community than in the heterosexual community. I took the classes in school, the ones that said, "You can't catch AIDS by..." and then listed everything I was afraid of. For Pete's sake, I'm a toilet paper draping person in public restrooms, and have a good relationship with antibacterial soaps. Once my OB told me that the rate of STDs that he sees in his office would shock me. He said when he does surgeries, he wears double pairs of gloves, face shields, the whole bit. Even with that precaution, he said every so often, he finds blood inside his gloves from a nick. He said that as a physician, he expects to eventually contract and perhaps die from one of those dreaded diseases.
(I've even heard people say they were afraid some activist would stick them with a dirty needle on purpose. That reminds me of being afraid to talk to Muslims lest one blow you up. All I have to say on that is that fear can be paralyzing and not useful at those levels. What's the worse thing that can happen? Being killed for the cause of Christ? I can think of worse endings...)
Fear of my Children being Exposed to Deviant Sexual Behaviors. As a parent of young children, I must protect my children from as much exposure to sin as possible. People like to say that we shouldn't put our children in a greenhouse. I say that a tree grows best when it puts down roots in a safe environment. There will be plenty of years for the rains and winds of life to test and strengthen those roots. Practically speaking, I'm simply not going to allow certain people access to my children. This does NOT mean that I believe all heterosexuals are safe childcare providers (yeah, right). This also does NOT mean that I believe all homosexuals are potential child abusers. However, kids are often exposed to deviant behaviors by people the family trusts. I ask God for wisdom, and do my dead-level best to keep any predators away from them. Eventually they will learn much about the evil of the world, but I plan to carry the suitcase of that information for them until they are strong enough. (Corrie Ten Boom and her dad's illustration)
"It's A S-- Thing". The church has done itself a disservice by not talking about God's role in human sexuality. The world talks about it ALL THE TIME, but it's so very twisted. My Pandora station recently had an ad that said, "So you finally moved in together? It's about time!" Recently someone teased a friend about his (normal and godly) sex life in front of an open homosexual. The homosexual blushed. Blushed. He was embarrassed to think of this man having a sex life, while he wears a wedding band to celebrate his relationship. OK, then. So twisted. Until the church gets comfortable talking about sex biblically, it can hang it up when it comes to helping addicts to pornography and homosexuals.
So where does this leave us? I'm careful about hygiene. When I'm around known homosexuals, I'm even more careful. Speaking of being careful, there's so many diseases out there, just thinking about it makes me want to walk around in a Hazmat suit and duct-tape my windows. The lady I saw wearing surgical gloves while cutting her steak in the restaurant may not have been so crazy after all ;o) However fear of disease is not going to keep me from loving others.
I'm refused to be guilt-tripped into allowing questionable people into my kids' lives. There are NO sleepovers, no unsupervised visits. And if I don't feel good about a nursery worker, I don't care who they are related to or how weird I may be perceived to be. My children are only children once, and I'm the only mom they've got. It can be tough sometimes, but if I hurt some feelings inadvertently, oh well. I try to be discreet.
And we talk about sex. Off and on. Whenever the kids ask, we talk. We keep the details age-appropriate, but my kids know there are wicked, sinful people out there who like to hurt children, they know who is allowed to touch their bodies, they know it takes a daddy and mommy to make a baby, they know mom and dad 'snuggle' when they're asleep and how to respect a locked door. They know God designed their bodies to do some interesting things and that changes are coming. They know what privacy is, and how to get dressed alone. They even know that there are some people who think that it's OK for two men/women to be 'married,' and that it's wrong.
I want my kids to see sex as the beautiful gift it is, to desire it in
marriage, to see its precious value. I want them to see that the fire
that warms and gives comfort and ambience in the fireplace will burn the
house down if pulled out of its proper boundaries.