Top Five Ways to Panic While Driving
Kathryn found the top ONE out today. While en route to the pediatrician's office for Alex's four month appt. (yes, pictures coming shortly), she calmly says, "What's that?" I say, "What's what?" "What's that?" "What's what?" "On my blankey." "I don't know, what is it?" "A spider." I missed the nearest paved driveway and settled for the ditch (thankfully, it wasn't much of one!), whipped around trying to think about how in the world to kill the backseat monster in spite of my phobia, only to see a wad a thread on her blanket. Relief, oh blessed relief. Then, "I will definitely hang you up by your toenails if you EVER do that again!"
Number TWO: Hand Kathryn McDonald's Happy Meal box back to her booster seat. Turn curve. Hear "I need a new one!"
Number THREE: Sound of "hot mustard explosion" from OTHER carseat. Thoughts of dismantling the insanely difficult thing (and wash it and drip dry it) command immediate attention.
Number FOUR: Wonder where I placed wallet at last stop. Begin searching wildly and blindly through diaper bag filled to brim with diapers of two sizes, extra wet wipes, and sticks of gum with bits broken off the ends for Kathryn's pleasure. Picture ID-theft maniac withdrawing, withdrawing, withdrawing to buy a Hummer. Find wallet in lap.
Number FIVE: Come around the curve of the interstate near home and see brake lights making a beautiful line off into the horizon. A lovely traffic jam on I-20. Cue baby- time to nurse...