Friday, April 04, 2008

The Adventure of the Gingered Pear Sorbet

Doesn't that look delicious? OK, so I'm a fan of all things icy and cold. Sorbets, Italian ice, homemade ice cream, smoothies... So, I decided to make this scrumptious treat for Kathryn and me while Nathan was out of town. The following information is to be taken into account when making Gingered Pear Sorbet.

You start by placing pears, lemon juice, syrupy stuff, and ginger in your blender. Turn on. Of course, the bottom concoction gets pureed immediately, while topped with persistent pear halves. Do not, I repeat do not, open the blender and try to press those halves down with a helpful spoon!

At this provocation, the blender will immediately shoot a huge glob of gritty pears and acrid lemon juice into your open eyeball. Because, of course, you're leaning stupidly over it, staring in. At this point, you will hop helplessly and blindly around the room, saying in a very, very calm voice, "Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch..." so your children don't freak out. Remember that now you hear the blender continuing to shoot globs over your kitchen, and your three-year-old is just about to look down into the yawning mouth of this monster. Shoot your right hand out and grope for plug, while flushing your left eye out with cold water. If you're fortunate, no electricity will be conducted through your hand (I was). Assume blindness in left eye is most likely permanent. After flushing lemony grit out of your eyeball, change your pear-splattered clothes. Look in the mirror. Glory be! You can see! OK, see pears in hair. Realize that your hair is stickier than the hairspray-laden day when you were your best friend's bridesmaid.

Now realize that your dog needs to go, and NOW. Open the back door. Doubtless, some large and evil beetle will be drawn by the smells of sweetness, so he will fly right into your face. Have dog kill beetle, shouting, "Kill it, kill it now, I say!" Say a few choice words, like "Dadgum, stupid sorbet! Dadgum, stupid beetle!" Under your breath, of course. We don't want our children picking up those words, now do we? Place your successful Gingered Pear Sorbet in the freezer, hope for the best.

If any of you try the recipe linked above, I do hope your experience is much better. Good luck!


Toots said...

You really gave me and my girls a good laugh today! Thanks for sharing. It really does look good, and I can't imagine making it myself wih a straight face!

Mary Ellen said...

I was laughing so much I almost choked on my popcorn!!

Tara said...

You are a strange, funny little woman.


Julie Schultz said...

Oh my. That does sound disastrous! I'm so glad you survived your ordeal in order to tell us about it in such a dramatic manner!

Aaron & Lanee said...

Charity, thank you so much for the laugh - I needed a good dose of Endorphins today! Again if you don't know who I am - long time friend of Nathan's family. Hopefully we'll be able to meet sometime! I feel like I know you already though - you and I have some "similarities", I too have moments of "insanity", but mine ususally involve spaghetti sauce. LOL!!

Juwah said...

Sorry my friend, but I did have to laugh at the Pear attack. Perhaps you should stay away from mixed drinks?