Monday, August 09, 2010

My lovely Spanish students

Being an Older Woman (than 10% of you ;o) Means It's Time for Class

God has blessed me with a few young-er ladies in my life who come to me for advice. It is a solemn responsibility, and one that I try to do with God's help. I also find that passing along what I've learned helps me REALLY learn it and put it into practice better. They say you don't really know something until you've taught it.

So! With that in mind, I thought I'd do a few blog posts on wifely/homemaking-ly topics. I'd love your input. Throw in some tips for ME please. I'll take all I can get. The following is excerpted from a letter I sent to a friend of mine:

Get up long enough before the kids to get dressed and ready for the day. It changes the atmosphere of the house when you’re welcoming them into your day instead of resenting them as unwelcome alarm clocks. You are the mood setter for your home.

Dress and fix the girls’ hair. Kathryn is just grouchy when she is a mess. I’ve found a different little girl when she feels neat. Don’t know why this is (I’m happy in pjs ;o), but it’s true.

Plan a menu each week. I don’t follow it 100% of the time, but at least I know my options.

Keep a pad of paper near the frig to write down things that you need from the store.
Put your housework on a schedule. Flylady or your own thing. Doesn’t matter. If you feel you don’t have enough time to get everything done, try writing down where your time is going. You’ll be surprised where those 5 and 10 and 15 minutes disappear.

Talk up Daddy to the girls. It’s contagious. Tell them how handsome he is. How strong he is, etc.

Philippians 4:8 Fill your mind with the positive things about your man. About your children. About your role. About God. Light a candle. Pick some flowers from the side of the road. Put on some happy music that makes you want to dance. Try just smiling at your children when they come into the room.

Set a bedtime, girl. Rested mommies make better mommies. Learn to go to bed alone, if you have to (I hate it, but Nathan just doesn’t need as much sleep as me). Our compromise is he gives me a hug when he comes to bed. It makes me :o)

You’re home. Get those babies out of the house and go to a local park or mall or whatever and walk. I know walking WITH them is either a crawl or a run. When I tried walking with Kathryn, it was ridiculous. We had to examine EVERY rock, bug, flower. You might find a double stroller on Craigslist and push them instead.

For praying. Do you have a copy of The Power of a Praying Wife? If you do, get it out and pray one of those prayers every day (Don’t announce you’re praying for him- they find that offensive). Don’t forget, you are under his spiritual authority. But he is directly under God’s. When you need something, feel free to talk to His boss. I can tell you with complete confidence that God can get the job done. Don’t feel he is meeting your emotional needs? Talk to God about it. I know this is sooooo much harder to do than say. But it works!

Speaking of which, how are you and God doing? Make sure you stay on good terms with the Father. Sometimes, when I want quiet time and the kids have been nutty, I skip their afternoon nap and put them to bed at 8:00. Then I go out (Nathan’s home, of course) and get a small drink somewhere and just sit, and think, and write out my prayers. My sister-in-law Marianne just goes to a nearby (well-lit) parking lot sometimes and spends time alone.

And here’s the toughie:
RESPECT: Here you don’t have a choice, dear. Scripture commands it. If you are not treating him with respect, you are being sinful. Suck it up, confess it and move on. Ask God to check you when you are about to step out of line. It is not about whether or not he deserves it. Men who are unconditionally respected tend to become worthy of respect over time. Just do it.

Practically speaking, respect means: controlling your tongue, controlling your body language, caring about what he cares about, treating him the way you want to be treated. And no, YOU CAN NOT SUCCEED AT THIS- YOU ARE A FAILURE. And so am I! This calls for walking by the Spirit. When you’re frustrated, pray “Your patience, Lord.” He has the power to work through you!!!


Linda S said...

Very Good.

Liz said...

Great stuff, Charity! I'll take all the reminders I can get! :>) Sometimes it is easy to forget that I really do set the mood/tone for this house... (thinking nearing-nine-months-pregnant-complaining) God will help me!

Jodi Marshall said...

I have soooo much to learn. Thank you for the insight.